A British woman fell in love with a Black man during a time when inter-racial relationships were prohibited in Britain. She had to make the difficult decision of abandoning her family or following her heart. Here is her tale.
When Trinidadian-born soldier Jake was a member of the American forces that the Air Force had sent to the UK for training in the 1940s, British lady Mary was taking typing and shorthand lessons at a technical college at the time.
The girls were delighted to discover Jake and his military pals could speak English when they called Mary and her buddy to talk. Jake started quoting Shakespeare for Mary, which she adored, and they got to talking.
What was it like to be in a mixed race relationship in the 1940s and 50s? We meet Jake and Mary Jacobs who got married in 1948 pic.twitter.com/E56ZP6QLbs
— BBC Radio 2 (@BBCRadio2) October 13, 2016
A few weeks later, they went on a picnic. When a woman saw Mary at the picnic and told her father about it, Mary was forbidden from seeing her father moving forward.
After a few years, Jake returned to Trinidad to take a job in Trinidad that paid higher, but they kept writing to each other through letters.
Mary, who was only 19 years old, agreed to wed Jake, but her father, who disapproved of her choice to wed a Black man, later kicked her out of the house. Mary married Jake in 1948 and no one from her family was there because she only had a little luggage.
What was it like to be in a mixed race relationship in the 1940s and 50s? We meet Jake and Mary Jacobs who got married in 1948 pic.twitter.com/E56ZP6QLbs
— BBC Radio 2 (@BBCRadio2) October 13, 2016
FIRST YEAR OF MARRIAGE IS HARD
Mary was horrified to discover that society held interracial couples in the same contempt that it pointed at them whenever they crossed the street.
The couple had a hard time renting an apartment since no one wanted to accommodate a Black man in Birmingham, where they were living. Due to Jake’s inability to obtain employment, they had no money and no friends. He remembered that:
Cheryl and SueZie Hawkes talked about carrying on a transatlantic love affair for years, and the fact that their relationship didn't change after SueZie's transition https://t.co/Grg6RA3FYP
— New York Magazine (@NYMag) April 5, 2019
You couldn’t work in an office back then because it was believed that a black man with all the white girls wouldn’t be safe.
When Mary gave birth to a stillborn child eight months into her pregnancy, their circumstances were made worse. Because of how heartbroken she was, the couple decided against having any more kids.
PROGRESS
Thankfully, the resilient couple’s situation improved. Jake began working in a factory before moving on to the post office, while Mary obtained teaching positions and eventually became a deputy teacher.
They also began to make new friends, but before bringing them into their house, they would let them know in advance about their inter-racial union. Even though they made up before his passing, Mary’s father, who passed away when she was 30 years old, never agreed with her choice to wed Jake.
NOW, WHERE ARE THEY?
Mary and Jake, who have been together for seven decades and counting as of 2018, said they consider themselves fortunate to have found and married one another.
Jake admitted that the fact that they were never completely accepted by society still hurts him. He explained that a man once massaged his neck with his hands and remarked, “I wanted to see if the dirt would come off,” as he struggled with racism.
The pair has been married for many years and continues to work on their connection. For instance, Jake does not prepare meals when they are expecting kosher guests. Although there is no cure for Mary’s mild case of early Alzheimer’s, the doctors are doing their best.
Howard Foster and Myra Clark, high school sweethearts, were forced to part ways in 1967 due to racial animosity in the country at the time, unlike Jake and Mary.
Foster made the decision to end things with his white girlfriend because he couldn’t let Clark suffer through the difficulties that came with their type of relationship. They did, however, reconnect and wed 45 years later. Read the entire account here.
