Our parents are our only possessions when we are firstborn. Without them, we wouldn’t be who we are today.
We look to our parents for support and direction in life. They are responsible for ensuring that we feel protected at all times and that we as kids abide by their guidelines. We can all make mistakes since we are all human.
When we are young, we rarely view our parents as “just humans,” but rather as something greater. Our parents are the ones who created us, are our guardians, and are our protectors. Children see their parents as Gods and Goddesses because they can accomplish anything. The way a parent does everything has a big impact on how their child thinks and feels. Our communication with them shapes their inner voice. It explains what is right and bad to them.
Your children will carry this into adulthood if you are frequently angry and distant with them. Later on, they will treat themselves in the same way that you are treating them. We all make mistakes; if you are doing so right now, why not stop and fix it? We desire for our kids to have an unoffensive inner voice. It will be much more successful than having an inner voice that makes them feel unimportant if you are nice and encouraging to your child since they will adopt that as their inner voice.
No matter how irate you are or what they have done, you should never say to your kids the things listed below:
“Stop crying now,” I command.
Do not make your child feel foolish for crying or for being unable to stop, even if there is no cause for them to be sobbing at that precise moment. Their emotions are out of their control. If you tell your child this, you are teaching them that having emotions is wrong and that they shouldn’t be allowed to feel what they are feeling. All of it will eventually be suppressed. In cases like this, you should consider stating something else. Something along the lines of “Crying is okay, but you still have to realize that what you did was wrong.” This will go you a long way.
“I am angry with you!”
When children are in difficulty and are already depressed about themselves and their actions, parents will tell them this. Don’t allow your child feel like a failure when they make a mistake; instead, assist them in choosing the right way. Attempt to say something along the lines of “What you did was wrong, let’s talk this over okay?”
“You [something] are not enough!”
It hurts when you tell your child they are lacking anything, whether it be something on the inside or outside. Even if you are not saying it directly, you are hinting that they are insufficient. If you do not address this issue right once, it could develop into your youngster feeling generally unworthy of success in life. Say something like, “You are [something] enough, we can work harder at it.”
“Big boys and girls don’t fear”
They do, indeed. This in no way serves to protect your child. You cannot make someone stop being fearful by asking them not to be. Even you experience fear occasionally. You should be educating your kids to face their fears rather than to run from them. Say something along the lines of “I know something that will help, but it’s okay to be scared. Everyone gets scared sometimes.”
You have no value.
You must never ever say to your children anything like this. They shouldn’t be concerned about what you might think of them because you are the one whose favor they crave most. By stating this, you are encouraging them to embark on a quest for approval from all possible sources. Attempt to say something along the lines of “No one is perfect sweetie, you will do better next time.”
“You bad kid you!”
Never instill in your youngster the idea that they are evil people in general. This is related to the use of the word “rotten.” Because their acts might not be as excellent as you would like for them to be, but that shouldn’t make you think adversely of your child as a whole, you should try using the statement “What you did was bad”. We are not all evil people just because we all make mistakes.
“I go above and beyond for you!”
Obviously, since they are your children, you should take care of them in every way. That is not something you should use against them because they did not choose to be born. If you told your child this, you ought to feel guilty about it. When it comes to what you do for them, they are not the issue; rather, they are there for you to take care of.
“You’re fat”
Another item that shouldn’t be on this list is this one. You shouldn’t ever undermine your kids in this way. If your child is overweight, they are already aware of this. They undoubtedly learn about it from other kids every day. Instead of a location where they will be bullied even more, home should be a safe haven. Say something like, “I’m considering getting in shape and being healthy. Would you like to give it a go with me? I don’t intend to work by myself .Without a doubt, negative labels like calling your child overweight will cause eating disorders and a negative body image.
Be cautious with what you say to your kids. When you become unable of taking care of yourself, they will be there to help. When the time comes, you won’t have much of a caregiver if they grow up despising who they are and how you treated them. Don’t put your kids down; instead, love them for who they are and motivate them to be good.
