It is critical to consider the habits you have formed in your marriage if you want it to last. Relationship breakdowns aren’t often the result of big issues like infidelity. Little daily routines have also been linked to divorce, according to studies.
Bustle is informed by associate marital and family therapist Allison Zamani that “it’s easy for the small habits to start leading a relationship off track.” It is necessary for a connection for both people to experience a sense of kinship. If you can keep the connection going, it’s quite strong, but it takes a lot of work.”
Zamani claims that many couples seek treatment, even if it isn’t due to a single issue. They seek counselling because they no longer feel bonded to one another. She says, “It all starts with something small.” It could begin, for example, with one individual experiencing stress related to their job. They withdraw and decide to resolve the issue on their own, declining assistance from their spouse. Naturally, this might make their spouse feel bewildered and cut off.
Here, the important thing is to break any bad habits that cause distance and develop good ones that strengthen connection. These are some unexpected behaviors that, according to studies, can result in divorce.
1.Being Unduly Loving in the First Years of Your Marriage
According to a research in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, couples who overindulged in their first few years of marriage had a higher divorce rate after seven years. The first passion you experience isn’t really sustainable, say researchers. Some find they aren’t particularly compatible with the person they married once the honeymoon period passes and reality bites. As a result, ambivalence tends to rise and fondness tends to decrease in certain couples.
It is crucial to remember, nevertheless, that not all loving couples can benefit from this. According to research, this only holds true for partners who chose to marry based on their strong chemistry. Early on in the relationship, showing affection shouldn’t be an issue if you’ve established a strong foundation.
2. Steer clear of confrontation
According to a 2018 American Psychological Association study, your relationship may suffer if you have a tendency of withdrawing or shutting down when your partner confronts you. This behavior can give your spouse the impression that their needs are not being met, even if some people do it to avoid conflict. Researchers have found that higher income couples are more likely to be negatively impacted by a “demand-withdrawal” dynamic since they have greater access to tools that can help resolve marital issues. Relationship tension can arise when one person isn’t interested in working things out, even though you have the means to do so.
3.Allowing Debt to Amount
For couples, money can be a major issue, particularly if they don’t agree on anything. In fact, a Federal Reserve Board study found that couples with larger credit score differences are more likely to divorce within five years. Long-term committed relationships were more common among those with the highest credit scores. According to the most recent Student Loan Hero poll, one in eight couples claim that their relationship has been ruined by student loans.
4 Quarreling About Chores
25 percent of couples cited “disagreements about housework” as the reason for their divorce in a 2018 Harvard Business School survey. When it came to their relationships, couples who could delegate simple household chores to someone else were generally happier. The last thing you want to do after a tough workday is wash the dishes. Unfortunately, there are little things that must be done. The inequity of your partner’s work can lead to disputes. This may cause you to become more dissatisfied with your relationship if it occurs frequently.
5.Leaping into “Fortnite”
According to a recent survey by the UK-based business Divorce Online, at least 200 divorce petitions in 2018 included Fortnite: Battle Royale as the cause for the petitioner’s desire for a divorce. It might sound strange, but the logic behind it makes perfect sense. According to statistics, there is a strong correlation between addiction and divorce. The site claims that relationship issues arise from the player’s addiction to the game. In fact, according to a 2014 Pew Research study, one in five respondents claimed that using technology had a bad effect on their relationship. When they’re meant to be spending quality time together, 25% of respondents claim that their spouses are preoccupied with their phones.
Six Ways to Vent About Your Partnership
According to a research by John Gottman and colleagues that was published in the Journal of Family Psychology, your words on your marriage can determine whether or not you end up divorcing. It was requested of participants to provide an oral history of their interactions with the researchers. People were more inclined to end their relationship if they expressed dissatisfaction or spoke negatively about it.
7.Feeling Envious of Your Spouse’s Achievements
According to a 2018 Swedish study, women who were married at a lower income than their husbands were twice as likely to file for divorce once they began to achieve greater success at work. Compared to women who pursued higher positions but were unsuccessful, those who rose to leadership positions were less likely to remain married to their husbands. Researchers think that this occurs because women are more prone to quit relationships that are unsupportive and rigid. Gender norms that have been socialized may also have contributed to this. These results were limited to marriages in which the wives’ initial income was lower than that of the husband.
Remember that not all of these issues—like bickering over household duties or video game addiction—directly lead to divorce. However, there are situations when it can make the connection more distant. If distance and negativity are prevalent in your relationship, you will need to cooperate to get over them if you want it to endure.
