When I returned home from a week away, I found my kids sleeping on the chilly hallway floor, which was an odd and uncomfortable sight. With my heart racing, I looked for answers but discovered that my spouse was gone and that strange noises were coming from the kids’ room. What I discovered next made me enraged and prepared for combat!After spending a week away on a work trip, I must admit that I was eager to return home. Tommy and Alex, my boys, were most likely bouncing off the walls in anticipation of my arrival.A week seems like an eternity when you’re six or eight years old. Mark, too?
I assumed he would be happy to return the reins to me.
“How in the hell?” With my head racing, I muttered. Had a fire broken out? A gas escape? Why had they not gone to bed? I slipped passed them, not wanting to wake them until I understood what was happening. There were pizza boxes, soda cans, and what appeared to be melting ice cream on the coffee table in the living room, which was a complete mess. But Mark was nowhere to be seen.
I was walking to our bedroom with my heart thumping around in my chest. void.Even though it hadn’t been slept in today, the bed was still made. Where was Mark while his car was in the driveway? At that point, I heard it. There was a quiet, muted sound emanating from the boys’ room. I crept over on tiptoe, my mind racing. Was Mark injured? Had some crazy person broken in and bound him?I carefully opened the door, one inch at a time, and
How come? The Real—” Recalling that the children were right down the hall, I bit my tongue.Mark was standing among empty energy drink cans and snack wrappers with his headphones on and a controller in his hand. And that wasn’t even the most absurd aspect. The lads’ room had been converted into a virtual gaming haven. There were LED lights everywhere, a huge TV occupying one wall, and a mini-fridge that looked like a monstrosity in the corner. With my mouth hanging open, I watched as the anger inside of me erupted like a volcano about to erupt.
Mark was so absorbed in whatever game he was playing that he hadn’t even spotted me yet.I lunged forward, snatching the headphones from his head. “Mark! What on earth is happening? He gave me a confused blink. “Hey, sweetheart. You arrive home early. “Early? Midnight has arrived! Why do our kids sleep on the ground? With a shrug, he reached back for his controller. Oh, no worries. The lads were content to sleep outdoors.
They perceived it as an exciting journey. I grabbed hold of the controller. “A journey? Mark, they’re not camping! Their sleeping quarters are on our filthy hallway floor!”Please, stop being such a buzzkill,” he murmured while attempting to reclaim the controller. “Everything is in order. I’ve been providing for them and such.
“Sending them food? Do you mean the ice cream and pizza cartons in the living room? With each phrase, I could feel my blood pressure rising. How about taking a bath? or even their actual beds, I’m not sure. Mark rolled his eyes. Sarah, they’re all right. Relax a little. That’s when I snapped.”Get brighter? LIGHTEN UP? Our kids are in their room playing video games, and you are sleeping on the floor like animals! What’s wrong with you, exactly?”There’s nothing wrong with me,” he scowled. “I’m merely attempting to spend some time by myself.
Is that really so bad? Trying not to scream, I took a big breath. “What do you know? For now, this is not what we’re doing. Head over to the lads’ beds. Right now. “However, I’m in the midst of—” “Mark, NOW!” With a sigh, he stood up and shuffled by me.Tommy twitched a little but remained unconscious as I saw him pull him up.
I couldn’t help but notice how similar they appeared—a real child and the man behaving like one—as Mark carried him to bed.I picked up Alex, a little saddened by the filth on his face. Just as I was putting him to sleep, I decided. I would treat Mark exactly like a child if that was his desire. I followed through on my plan the following morning.I crept into Mark’s man cave, which he had built, and unplugged everything while he was taking a shower. I started working after that.
I was ready for him with a big smile as he came downstairs, his hair still wet. “Happy morning, my love! I prepared your breakfast. He gave me a wary glance. “Well, thank you.” I placed a plate before him. A Mickey Mouse-shaped pancake with a fruit-based smiling face was positioned in the center. It was a sippy cup of coffee.”What’s this?” he inquired, snagging a piece of pancake. “Silly, that’s breakfast for you! We have a busy day ahead of us, so fill up now! Following
I displayed my creation, a massive, vibrant chore chart that I had slapped on the fridge, during breakfast. “Observe what I created for you!” Mark’s gaze expanded. “How in the world is that?” “Vernacular” I chastised. You have your own task chart! See? If you tidy your room, do the dishes, and put your toys away, you can win gold stars! “My playthings? “Sarah, what are you doing?” I interrupted. “Oh, and don’t overlook it! There’s a new house rule now. Cut off all screens by precisely 9 p.m. That also applies to your phone, sir! Mark appeared perplexed at first, then enraged.
Are you joking with me? I’m an adult; I don’t require— “Oh, oh, oh!” I gave a finger wag. “You’ll have to go to the timeout corner if you argue!” I stood by my principles over the following week. I used to unplug his game system and turn off the Wi-Fi every night at nine.I even read him “Goodnight Moon” in my most calming voice and put him to bed with a drink of milk. His food was presented on plastic plates with little gaps between them. I gave him animal crackers for snacks and sliced his sandwich into the form of a dinosaur. I used to tell him things like, “Use your words, honey,” when he grumbled. Big boys don’t complain.One major area of disagreement was the task chart. I used to make a big show of awarding him a gold star every time he finished a chore.”You’re doing it all by yourself—putting your laundry away! Mom is so happy! He would clench his jaw and whisper, “Sarah, I’m not a child.” I would say, “Of course not, sweetie,” in response.
Who wants to assist with making cookies now? After a week or so of my little experiment, I reached my breaking point. After having an argument about his two-hour screen time limit, Mark had just been sent to the timeout corner. I quietly set the kitchen timer while he sat there furious.”This is absurd!” he exclaimed. “For God’s sake, I’m a grown man!” I arched an eyebrow. Oh, I see. Regarding that, are you certain? For the reason that adult men do not force their kids to sleep on the floor so they can stay up late playing video games. He began to lose steam. “All right, I understand! I apologize. I looked at him for a while. Although he appeared sincere in his regret, I wasn’t going to spare him when I still had one final blow to deal. “Oh, I understand. Thank you,” I replied kindly. But I’ve already given your mother a call.He lost all of his facial color.
“You didn’t.” The knock on the door came just in time. When I opened it, I saw that Mark’s mother was inside, looking much like a frustrated parent. She yelled, “Mark!” and strode inside the home. “Did you truly force my darlings to sleep on the ground so you could engage in your small games?” Mark appeared to wish that the floor would split open and engulf him. “Mum, it’s not the case… Well, I didn’t.Her expression softened as she turned to face me. “Oh Sarah, how I regret that you had to deal with this. I believed that I had raised him more properly. I gave her an arm pat. Linda, it’s not your fault. A few
Boys simply mature more slowly than girls.Mark had a blazing red face. “Please, mom. I’m thirty-five years old. Ignoring him, Linda turned back to face me. Alright, don’t worry. I have freed up my next week’s schedule. I’ll quickly get this boy back in shape!”I met Mark’s gaze as Linda hurried to the kitchen, murmuring under her breath about the condition of the dishes.
He appeared completely defeated. “Sarah,” he murmured. “I apologize sincerely. I acted carelessly and selfishly. It won’t occur once more. I grew a little softer. “I understand, sweetie. However, I need to know that you have everything under control while I’m away. Instead of another playmate, the boys require a father.He gave an embarrassed nod. “You’re accurate.
I swear that I’ll perform better.I kissed him quickly and grinned. “I’m sure you’ll do it. Why don’t you go assist your mother in doing the dishes now? Perhaps we can have ice cream for dessert if you perform well. I couldn’t help but feel a little arrogant as Mark walked off to the kitchen. I hoped I learned my lesson. In the event that it wasn’t, I still had that timeout area prepared and waiting.
